Making big decisions is hard. Correction: seems hard.

I mean, I used to freak out about what color stirrup pants to wear, for God’s sake. Questions about which way to shellac my bangs used to drive me to tears. I swear I’m referring to something in the past.

But what’s the fuss? After all, realistically, we can’t know the outcome of our choices.  We’re not waiting around for divine intervention. Like most stupid things people do, it’s a question of ego.

We hedge our big decisions because embarrassed that we don’t possess the mettle to stick to our guns. In the future, you know, when we’re being questioned. During the inquisition.

(Of course, if we were each really so important, it would be a really long line at the door, and the inquisitors might never get to any of us anyway.)

And frankly, I’m not really in the business of regret. I’ve already talked about that, and how idiotic it is to abstain from things that could be game-changers for you.

Like most people, I rarely regret my mistakes. But I very much regret certain omissions, which are harder to anticipate. So the reason I decide to just not do something is certainly not a fear of regret– quite the opposite.

Indecisiveness, or abstention from real life, is not actually idiotic, to correct the word I just used before the jump– it’s crippling. You have one chance at this thing.

And you’re deluding yourself when you say things like, “But I don’t think other people are ready” or, “I don’t have the time” or, “I don’t have the money.” Ack. You’re breathing, right? The electricity’s on? Good. You’re in great shape, better than about half the world’s population. Do something!

The reason I’m a strong decision-maker today is because I used to be a terrible one, and I got fed up with being perceived as weak for this exact reason. Threats to my enormous ego are incredibly motivational for certain personality types. After I had a therapist tell me I had “boundary issues” because I couldn’t answer simple questions about my favorite colors or foods, I spent the next decade working on a simple process for making all of my decisions in life. I knew I couldn’t just do it; I think too much. But I needed a method that was repeatable and had good results.

Basically, I did not want indecisiveness or inertia to mire me in any more bullshit– or any more therapist’s chairs– ever again.

So I worked on it. And I came up with a little cognitive trick. No more list-making or fretting or hand-wringing or crying jags. No “What About Bob?” baby steps. No horsing around.

Just three questions. Whether it’s about painting the wall chartreuse or quitting a job, these are my questions, and they always work.

Questions:

1. Will I regret NOT doing this?
2. Will the loss (of time, resources, or other less-quantifiable things, like respect) make it impossible to eat/live/walk?
3. If I fail, how funny is this going to be later?

Method:

(A) Answer yes, no, and very -> take the plunge.

(B) Answer no to the first question -> stop sweating this decision. It’s not important to your life. If it’s taking up time, stop thinking about it, and move on.

This has never not worked for me.

I haven’t exactly patented it, but if you feel like turning it into a talk show, you’re welcome to do that. I will tune in, because I love TV shows where I know all the answers. Especially if it’s on basic cable. (I have rabbit ears.)