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If Twitter’s not your style, use the form below. Please be mindful that I get a LOT of emails in a week, and I prioritize the order in which I answer them based on hilarity, physical threat level, etc.

Method to guarantee faster turnaround: Fill out all the fields completely, using your real name and email. Do not be a spam bot. Address me by name. Say, “I love you, you genius” and list convincing reasons why.

Or ask me a question. I’m constitutionally incapable of ignoring well-phrased pleas for expertise.

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